Shorties...

    Wednesday, June 11, 2008

    #106

    So, I am a racist. Obviously.
    I make mean statements about certain groups according to their race (which applies to the definition of racism to some extent). Obviously I do that quite often and people notice it. Usually statements similar to a certain one I made recently exist in my mind by the way of a joke and I suppose it is only funny for me and I really shouldn't be joking with serious stuff.

    I only wonder when I say things like this about... hm... how to state this... I will say "my" people, why no one is labeling me and everyone go with the joke. Funny.
    I also think, no, I believe that everybody, absolutely everybody, has thought racist thoughts at some point of their live.

    I am no hater, I am not violent and trust me, out of all my friends and family, I would be the one that would hand change to some beggar (read gypsy here), I would be sitting next to one in the bus and won't be freaked or something (of course if they don't smell too bad or are not too dirty). I would treat them no different that any other person. I show respect and I am kind. But I am also allowed to not like a certain group of a certain race, whenever a group of this certain group of a certain race beats the shit out of a good friend of mine, breaks his nose, provokes a concussion of the brain, steals his belongings and leaves him unconscious on the road. I am sorry but my tolerance has some limits.

    Call me a racist, call me dumb, call me awful, call me whatever. This is me, I am not perfect, I cross the line sometimes, it is true, but I also think that there are times when things really shouldn't be taken so seriously and also that behind everything there is a reason (at least for me). I am not a bad person.


    Monday, June 9, 2008

    #105 Various

    08.06.08 - A tiny bit earlier than I expected, but I took the ride again. Go, go, red pony!

    I plan on getting a bike. I have absolutely no idea where I am going to keep it, but I want it and I don't necessarily need it, but I want it. Hopefully on Saturday I will have it, if I don't change my mind by then...

    I saw something extraordinary this morning, on my way to work. And OMG! It was Lindt, it was special Lind, it was special Summer Edition Lindt, it was Lind chocolate with coconut, it is my dream! and it costs a fucking fortune. Guess who is going to spend ridiculously huge amount of money on chocolate which can't be eaten right away. Yes, that is correct, I am talking about myself. It is fucking expensive and I want to buy it all... I am aware of the fact that this is not possible, since I am short on money at the moment. OH OH OH, I will spend the money for the bike on chocolate. It will suck that I won't be able to eat it right away... but the diet will end some day... and with all the chocolate I will get, I will turn fat again and I don't care... You have no idea... Lindt chocolate and coconut, fuck me, I am getting wet and drooling just thinking about it. And whoever thinks I will share this chocolate... they are deeply mistaken. Man, I am so excited... I can't wait to get me some of that sweet pleasure...

    Sunday, June 1, 2008

    #104

    Днес дядо трябваше да празнува 80-ия си рожден ден. Спомням си как в началото на годината говореше истински разпалено за плановете си за този ден. Щеше да направи грангиозно празнинсво. Всичко беше измислил до последния детайл. Днес трябваше да съм в Казанлък, трябваше да вдигам чаша за негово здраве, трябваше да го прегръщам и да го целувам и да му пожелавам още много години живот, щях да танцувам с него и да се смеем и да се веселим. Трябваше. А сега какво... стоя си пред тъпия компютър и си мисля за него. От много време си мисля за днес и вярвах, че няма да ми е толкова тежко, лъгала съм се. Чух се с татко, беше тъжен, много тъжен, говорихме малко, и двамата не споменхме дядо. Аз исках, но нямах сили. Много ми е тъжно.

    И днес всичко върви наопаки, всичко е по настроените ми, тегаво. Днес е празника на детето, обичам го този празник, но не и днес. Не се радвам, не се чувствам дете, не и днес. Ще ми мине, знам, че ще ми мине, но и ще боли и ще продължава да боли. Тъжно ми е.
    Обичам те, дядо, и много ми липсваш. Много ми липсваш.