It fucking bothers me. I know I don't think of it as a big of a deal right now, but it will hit me... It will hit me so hard and I am so scared of the consequences.
I wish I could find the fucking reason for all this. What the fuck is wrong, what the fuck is missing, what the fuck in general?!
Talk is cheap...
I am in the shithole once again... Too bad the sun won't be able to help me out this time.
I've started thinking about it and it digs deeper and deeper in my brain... Grrr. I will so fuck things up, people will get hurt...
What sucks is that it is starting to show on my face. I just can't hide it. I don't know if I want to hide it at all, but then again I can't talk about it... I am losing it...
Tonight should have been last night. Tonight won't be what last night was supposed to be. Tonight I wish I could just watch a movie and I wish this will not provoke questions... Questions that I am pretty sure I know the answers to, but... yeah... BUT.
Right now I am not even sure I want to be there and watch a movie... Right now I am in the shithole... with a sinking heart... FUUUCK ME!
1 comment:
It's okay.
In general, what is missing is not missing anymore. There should be a kind of pushing that you can do. Push harder. Do this in public, to the public. Force your way into their space... let it be that in the future, you push their buttons.
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