#110 Pain here, pain there

Seriously, this is no fun anymore. I should really stop blogging only when my period surprises me. Anyway, just for the record - the evening of 05.08.08.

My right knee is killing me. This is not good, not good at all. It shouldn't be very healthy to get woken up in the middle of the night due to some serious pains, should it? I don't like going to doctors, but seeing where things are headed, i might have to do it. (Quick reminder to self... Please don't forget to epilate before you do so!) You should see the way I get on and especially off the bus. It is a good thing that I now have some biceps and can support my body with my strong arms :P.

My precious Creature of the night has a crack in the chain... My heart truly hurted when I saw that. It is so not fair. I love that watch. I know where I can buy a new one, but that is so not the point. Tonight I will perfom a special operation on it and will use my superglue. I hope it doesn't turn out nasty and also I hope that my skin will be compatible with the glue's ingredients. I don't want to give money for a new watch, which by the way will look exactly the same as the one I have now, my need for a new phone is bigger.

Aaanyway...

#109 Saturday morning fever

I am roomieless (yes, I know this word doesn't exist, but I will use it anyway) this weekend. I would love to masturbate all weekend long, but considering certain circumstances... I can't and I so feel like it. I think I mentioned once to someone that I am never horny. Well, I lied. I am very horny right now.

The weather is great, just screaming "sunbathing". I can't do that either. Since tampons hate me (although it is mutual).

I have a few films on my computer that seem interesting enough for me to watch and also a 5 seasons of a series that is indeed very interesting, but meh. I remember back in my lovely university years all I did was watch films and play Diablo II and minesweeper. I only play minesweeper now and online poker. Which reminds me... I won a couple of Euros recently, yay!

But back on paragraph 1... I was browsing for porn this morning, since I am all alone and stuff and there is no annoying roommate that likes to poke her nose into my affairs all the time. I couldn't find anything interesting. OK, not interesting, cause porn is interesting in general, you know... sex... interesting... and let me do a quote here, which is not perfectly fitted here, but I am sure you will get the picture: "My, that looks familiar, but it's been so long..." Anyway, I lost my thought, but I know one thing for sure... when I get rich (yeah, I am allowed to dream, let me be), I will so have a TV set in my bathroom, which will be connected to my computer, on which I will have loads of interesting stuff (read porn) and I will be able to enjoy my shower and interesting stuff (read porn once again) together in the certain time of the month.
Back in the days, I had loads and loads of porn on my computer, which was shared on the network and people were truly intrigued by how a girl can have that much porn. Interesting stuff. I wonder why it is such a tabu for most of the people... women... porn and masturbation. I do both and I enjoy them, and no I do not star in porn films, I watch porn films. I've noticed for myself, that porn kind of kills the nice (read "OhMyGodThatWasAmazingILoveToTouchMyself") effect. It gets me turned on fast enough but it also makes me cum a little bit too fast. Usually I can control this and I control it, but if I lose the exact moment...meh. Anyway, this is not happening this weekend, casue you know, yeah. I just came to the conclusion that I am not masturbating enough, hm. I need a lover.

#108

10.07.2008, 17:20h

#107 еЛ връзки or The L Word

And I lived to see this happening.

Yeah, I am very surprised to see that a Bulgarian television will offer to the Bulgarian audience a series that is THAT provocative. I may say this is one of my favourite series of all time. I wonder if all the fuss that was made about the 1st Gay Pride in Bulgaria, pushed the executives of FoxLife to make such a bold step. That is indeed a series that will not be taken nicely by most of the people. It is about lesbians and it is comedy and it is drama and it is breathtaking and the cast is amazing. I found out about this 4 years ago. Back then it was a true torture for me to get my hands on the episodes and I can say I got hooked up right away. Many people will say "Oh, gay content, but I am not gay to watch this, it is probably shit" and I can only reply to them ... "You are worng!". Give it a try, see a couple of episodes and then make conclusions and I have the full CD set (off course illegally downloaded) if you can't wait to see what will happen and how the story lines will turn out.

The one thing I am afraid of is that it probably will be dubbed and then... some of the magic of the L word will be lost. I suppose, I have to wait and see...
Meet me in front of the TV on 17 July at 22:00 tuned on to FoxLife and you wont regret it!

Oh, by the way that is one of the worst possible translations of the title!!! Shame on you!!!

#106

So, I am a racist. Obviously.
I make mean statements about certain groups according to their race (which applies to the definition of racism to some extent). Obviously I do that quite often and people notice it. Usually statements similar to a certain one I made recently exist in my mind by the way of a joke and I suppose it is only funny for me and I really shouldn't be joking with serious stuff.

I only wonder when I say things like this about... hm... how to state this... I will say "my" people, why no one is labeling me and everyone go with the joke. Funny.
I also think, no, I believe that everybody, absolutely everybody, has thought racist thoughts at some point of their live.

I am no hater, I am not violent and trust me, out of all my friends and family, I would be the one that would hand change to some beggar (read gypsy here), I would be sitting next to one in the bus and won't be freaked or something (of course if they don't smell too bad or are not too dirty). I would treat them no different that any other person. I show respect and I am kind. But I am also allowed to not like a certain group of a certain race, whenever a group of this certain group of a certain race beats the shit out of a good friend of mine, breaks his nose, provokes a concussion of the brain, steals his belongings and leaves him unconscious on the road. I am sorry but my tolerance has some limits.

Call me a racist, call me dumb, call me awful, call me whatever. This is me, I am not perfect, I cross the line sometimes, it is true, but I also think that there are times when things really shouldn't be taken so seriously and also that behind everything there is a reason (at least for me). I am not a bad person.

#105 Various

08.06.08 - A tiny bit earlier than I expected, but I took the ride again. Go, go, red pony!

I plan on getting a bike. I have absolutely no idea where I am going to keep it, but I want it and I don't necessarily need it, but I want it. Hopefully on Saturday I will have it, if I don't change my mind by then...

I saw something extraordinary this morning, on my way to work. And OMG! It was Lindt, it was special Lind, it was special Summer Edition Lindt, it was Lind chocolate with coconut, it is my dream! and it costs a fucking fortune. Guess who is going to spend ridiculously huge amount of money on chocolate which can't be eaten right away. Yes, that is correct, I am talking about myself. It is fucking expensive and I want to buy it all... I am aware of the fact that this is not possible, since I am short on money at the moment. OH OH OH, I will spend the money for the bike on chocolate. It will suck that I won't be able to eat it right away... but the diet will end some day... and with all the chocolate I will get, I will turn fat again and I don't care... You have no idea... Lindt chocolate and coconut, fuck me, I am getting wet and drooling just thinking about it. And whoever thinks I will share this chocolate... they are deeply mistaken. Man, I am so excited... I can't wait to get me some of that sweet pleasure...

#104

Днес дядо трябваше да празнува 80-ия си рожден ден. Спомням си как в началото на годината говореше истински разпалено за плановете си за този ден. Щеше да направи грангиозно празнинсво. Всичко беше измислил до последния детайл. Днес трябваше да съм в Казанлък, трябваше да вдигам чаша за негово здраве, трябваше да го прегръщам и да го целувам и да му пожелавам още много години живот, щях да танцувам с него и да се смеем и да се веселим. Трябваше. А сега какво... стоя си пред тъпия компютър и си мисля за него. От много време си мисля за днес и вярвах, че няма да ми е толкова тежко, лъгала съм се. Чух се с татко, беше тъжен, много тъжен, говорихме малко, и двамата не споменхме дядо. Аз исках, но нямах сили. Много ми е тъжно.

И днес всичко върви наопаки, всичко е по настроените ми, тегаво. Днес е празника на детето, обичам го този празник, но не и днес. Не се радвам, не се чувствам дете, не и днес. Ще ми мине, знам, че ще ми мине, но и ще боли и ще продължава да боли. Тъжно ми е.
Обичам те, дядо, и много ми липсваш. Много ми липсваш.