Do I feel disappointed? Do I feel hurt? I don't know how the hell I feel. I know it sucks and I know it bothers the hell out of me and it reflects on all my actions, reactions and emotions. My "happy, happy, happy" has turned into "happy, happ". I am fucking losing my happy and this fills my eyes with tears. I know it shows on my face. I stopped making efforts hiding it. I just don't want to even try hiding it. It is eating me alive from the inside. I've lost my sleep, I've lost my desire, I am losing it in general. It is not supposed to be like this... And actually I am looking forward to the days when there will be minimal or none contact whatsoever. Yes, things are that bad in my head... And this time it is not the full moon nor the PMS... It is me!
And I don't care who reads this, I just need to let it out...
This is my poor attempt to handle all this... I just don't have the guts to stand up for myself... I have never had the guts... and it's been a disaster every single time...
I am a jerk...
FUCK IT!
2 comments:
Wow.. You really seem to be hurting... You should try to find those guts and stand up for yourself! You deserve it, like everyone deserves to feel happy.. If not always, then at least sometimes
Ah well... Everything happens for a reason and I've been bad...
I just hate the way it happens... I wish it could come on me all at once and not on and off.
Thanks for the nice words though!
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