My girlfriend's deep in the closet. It just ruined a beautiful evening. It hurt me. I tried not to show it. I tried to be supportive and understanding. I've been there, I am still there. I know what's it like for her. And still I felt the pain, the growing and uncomfortable distance between us. I was just this shadow she couldn't run away from, creeping her out. I was just someone. It was even hard to be just a friend of hers...
"Don't worry, I will never do something to compromise you. I respect you and I've been in your shoes. Take your time. Take as much time you need to make the step (of coming out). Do it at your own paste... if you are ever going to do it"
"I don't think I am ever going to do it"
The certainty in her words stabbed me right in the middle of my heart.
Sometimes those couple of hours that I have her all for myself, away from the rest of the world could be so much more painful than when I am not with her. This is just wrong. And it is killing me.
Fuck this shit!
