#169 New Year's wishes and fortune slips...

Someone please shoot me...

mum: "Happy New Year! Find a man, get married, give birth to a baby..."

dad: "Happy New Year! Find a man, get married, give birth to a baby..."

granny 1: "Happy New Year! Find a man, get married, give birth to a baby..."

granny 2: "Happy New Year! Find a man, get married, give birth to a baby..."

One of the above four also said: "Do it soon, you are getting old and running out of time"

fortune slip 1: "the prince with the horse" (romantic as in a fairy tale and I only insisted to write that stupid fortune thingie cause my mum provoked me)

fortune slip 2: "a baby"

fortune slip 3 (the one at home that I chose over the phone): "smth smth love, smth smth smth engagement smth"

All I can say is... Give me a fucking break, hand me the gun, I will pull the trigger myself...

---

(under the line) Look at that... Second post in a couple of days...

#160 The general month recap

I was going to ETA the previous post, but then gave up on the idea...
So..., don't wonder why I am all in the writing mood all of a sudden. Without a doubt it is that time of the month once again. (for personal references - 07.10.2009).

So what happened in a month's time...
I went to Amsterdam on a business trip. Met Loo - my dear friend and totally loved the way our plans didn't work out, it was quite fun.

Another friend of mine got married. I don't know what happens to me on weddings... I get all mushy-gushy (is this a word?)... happy for my friend and sad for me... It is a fact that I will never be able to do the traditional ceremony with my future partner and I adore the stupid traditional ceremony. Eh, it was quite fun nonetheless!

I went to a striptease bar, got a couple of lap dances, was allowed to touch anywhere! (the advantage of being a girl, hehe), had a fucking awesome time! Will do it again, definitely. And here is the place to say a big thank you! to my friend V. who never fails to entertain me and be a true party animal ;)

My mum and dad gave me my birthday present earlier... I now own my dad's old car, as well as his old Zenit-E film camera. YAY! Beware on the streets... ;)

#148 Rainbow friendship, why not?

защо няма да присъствам на гей парада?

1. ще вали
2. бог ще ми се разсърди, защото руша устоите на обществения морал
3. ще заразя някое невинно дете с вируса на хомосексуалността
4. ще блокирам движението в иначе така натоварения съботен следобед
5. ще притеснявам хората с неприличното си облекло (най-вероятно дънки и тениска)
6. ще правя безразборен секс и ще участвам в оргии на обществени места
и много, много други толкова важни и фундаментални фактори...

какво наистина ме спира:

1. семейството ми все още не знае, че съм гей и при интереса на медиите към събитието съм 90% убедена, че по някое време ще получа обаждане с въпроса "Маме, какво по дяволите правиш там". наистина лесен и удобен начин да се разкрия, но не мисля, че ще е коректно от моя страна.
2. страх ме е. страх ме е от камъни, страх ме е от молотов, страх ме е от озверели, хомофобски, бръснати и какви ли още не юмруци.

чаровни оправдания, наистина. чаровни, но реални.

3. защото от 300 потвърдени и ако ще 1000 непотвърдени, аз познавам 0, а да бъдеш сам сред много хора, дори подкрепящи една и съща кауза, не си е работа. но това си е лично мой проблем...

обаче ми писна. писна ми да живея чужд живот, писна ми да се крия в килера, писна ми да лъжа, писна ми от безумието на хората, писна ми да ме игнорират, писна ми другите да решават вместо мен, писна ми!

и въпреки 1, 2, 3 и т.н., аз ще бъда на парада, защото преди всичко съм човек и както всеки друг имам права и търся уважение. горда съм, че съм лесбийка.

#128 Weekend recap

Guess what? I am posting... yes, yes you know what that means... it is that time of the month again. (Sunday - 22 March)

Anyway, on happier news... I spent the weekend in Kazanlak, celebrating my mum's birthday. It was nice. There was no annoyance. Mum was happy, I was happy, dad was happy. A happy family picture. Also, my "step"cat is fat! She is close to 7 kilograms!

I went shopping. I sorted out my outfit for Plamen&Elena's wedding. I feel so relieved. I only have to get shoes and I will be done. Oh, and a present for the newly weds. In my opinion I would look very sleek and businesslike. If only I could pull out the hairdo I imagine... Oh, I would look so hot! Mhmm.

Spring is here... and I already am starting to feel tired. Need to get vitamins.

:D

#86 February

I haven't blogged in a while. I wouldn't say that February was a boring month, on the contrary, it was full of emotions. Bad emotions. Well and a few nice ones... So now I will do a quick summary and I know I will probably forget to mention something but eh...

My grandfather passed away on 21 Feb. I never really got a chance to really mourn. I was at work when my mother told me and I had to keep straight face then. When I got home I had to keep a straight face for my family, I wanted to be strong for them. On the day of the funeral my mother drugged me with sedatives... it didn't stop me from crashing at some point, but it kinda kept my tears inside me. There are moments now when I think of him, he was a great man, full of live and up to party and ever understanding, I miss him so much and I shed a tear every once in a while. I haven't dealt with it and I know some night I will just cry my eyes out for him. Rest in peace grand daddy, I loved you so much.

Somewhere during this, one of my wisdom teeth decided to add up to my misery. It was painful and uncomfortable. I am getting it pulled out and I kind of was assured of my dentist that it is going to be very painful... which is nice... not!

I lost a true friendship. It hurts.

Work's ok.

A friend of mine is going to be a daddy and is getting married this May. I am so excited. I didn't expect this from him, but hey, life is full of surprises. I am so happy for him and his girlfriend.

I was told I am mysterious in a way and keep a lot of things to myself. I know I do that. I work on being more open, but I know that some things just have to stay for myself. If I can deal with them myself is another question...

The sun is shining, there is hope...

MOTHER FUCKER!!!

#76 Ooops

I wonder should I be worried that my dad most likely spend some time on my blog?!

I usually delete all the history when I leave home, but I suppose this time... I forgot. Damn it!

The blog is now with restricted access, whoever wants to read my shit... well blogger kindly offers to contact me by e-mail and ask permission. Let's see what will happen...

Oh, by the way HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!