#118 Christmas present

Aaaand hopefully in a year I would be able to start decorating and move in...


It is tiny, but it will be mine and now I am totally broke...
Be happy for me, people, I am going to own a flat!!!

Merry Christmas to everyone...

#117 Retrospective

So... it's been a while and I think it is time for me to sit on my ass and write a few words.

1. 15.11.2008 - bloody saturday;
2. 18.11.2008 - happy birthday to me;
3. 22.11.2008 - happy birthday to me party;

Conclusions: I had one of the happiest birthdays, as far as I can remember. I loved it all, I got awesome presents. I didn't get the pre-birthday depression. So far there is no post-birthday depression. I am older and I wish I could say with the same certainty that I am wiser (but work with me, people, let's all pretend).

I am planning a big post soon (of course every time I say this, I end up not posting for a looong time) I will see how this will go...

#116

And again it is that time of the month... too bad that my boobies will shrink now.

#115

Sometimes I really hate the teenagers nowadays. I hate them because I envy them and yet I know I am better than them. I am telling you, the feeling is not nice at all... to envy someone who you think is not really worth it... bleh!

The majority of the teenagers (I am aware that there still are good kids among us) today are totally degraded in every possible way. They follow the path of corruption, they don't care, they don't want to learn, they don't respect, they are arrogant and stupid. And yet I envy them sometimes and I hate the feeling (I am repeating myself, obviously). Sometimes I wish I had their freedom (here I really want to use another word, it is very similar to 'freedom' but I am not sure there is one in English, it is abused freedom) and attitude when I was a teenager. Don't get me wrong here, oh I so enjoyed my teenage years, but there are certain moments of my life that I wish didn't happen or more likely make them happen a little bit different. I know exactly the source of my envy, I know that I don't need to turn back time to change things, but it seems to me that it might have been a little easier if I knew some things for sure back then. I'd like to think that my life would be somewhat different, although knowing myself I would have chickened out like always. I envy the easiness in their actions, I hate their lack of reason and responsibility, I hate that they don't really care of the probable consequences... or no!

Maybe I envy them, because I hate myself?

#114

Fuck. This is weird.

#113 Brrr

I hate the cold weather. This is so freaky. Last weak i was wearing t-shirts and was dying of heat and today I am with my winter jacket and I can feel my hand crying out for the sun. It started showing the first symptoms of the cold allergy and it's been only a couple of days of cold weather. If it gets bad now I am so going to die during winter. Where is the autumn? We can't go from summer steraight to winter, this is not right!

My boobs hurt. They are growing, cause you know I am no magician anymore (*hint* I lift my arms and I still can see them) Anyway, this is weird. Very weird. It is not that time of the month. Now you will ask why am I complaing about my boobs getting bigger, well duh!, they fucking hurt and I don't like that.

I am now officially a fan of a certain brand of cakes and the likes... I think I have become slightly addicted, but they are so good and they have coconut stuff and this makes me extrememly happy and I can feel my ass growing, because I've been eating those a lot lately!
Ah, I almost forgot... BALCONI! Delicious Balconi (If I would say this in Bulgarian it would sound terribly pervy... yum!)

#112 Random song from a random artist...

Not so random anymore...
Is it possible to like 13 out 0f 13 songs from an album of an artist you hear for the first time and spend quite a time online to find it, since they are not that popular? Hm.... It is and it makes me happy, especially when roomies do not like it. Muahahah (evil laugh).

"Rainbow" viral video from Elisa Toffoli.

*!the song does not match the lyrics...! Both are great though*

The more I think, the less I see
when I'm able to walk
I'm queen of my world
I let it rain on my skin
I don't let myself down
I don't let myself down
just wanna be one with you
wanna be one with you
The more I think, the less I do
when I'm able to talk
I'm queen of my world
I let it rain on my skin
I don't ask myself why
I don't ask myself why
I wanna be one with you
wanna be one with you

and all I want is to rock your soul
all I want is to rock your soul
all I want is to rock your soul

I feel closer to the clouds
I'm touching all the highest leaves
on top of the trees
It's my desire's release
we let it rain on our skin
you're holding my hand
I'm holding your life
'n I feel like I'm one with you

and all I want is to rock your soul
all I want is to rock your soul
all I want is to rock your soul

I think I have to give you something
more than words is that something
I show you my dreams
to make 'em our dreams
won't you just be
I'm what you see

and all I want is to rock your soul
all I want is to rock your soul
all I want is to rock your soul

Together with the sun
we shine all the way
together with the rain
we fall through the air
Together with the sun
we shine all the way
together with the rain
with the sun
with the rain
the rain and the sun
together with the rain
and the sun
only with the rain the rain
and the sun
with the sun
with the sun
with the sun
with the sun

ETA: Apparently she is popular... ah, well!

#111 Almost a month later...

What are traditions for if not to be followed. So keeping the record straight - 30.08.2008/4:58.

I had a lot of things to talk about and of course I missed the right moments for blogging about all of them, so they will stay unsaid.

#110 Pain here, pain there

Seriously, this is no fun anymore. I should really stop blogging only when my period surprises me. Anyway, just for the record - the evening of 05.08.08.

My right knee is killing me. This is not good, not good at all. It shouldn't be very healthy to get woken up in the middle of the night due to some serious pains, should it? I don't like going to doctors, but seeing where things are headed, i might have to do it. (Quick reminder to self... Please don't forget to epilate before you do so!) You should see the way I get on and especially off the bus. It is a good thing that I now have some biceps and can support my body with my strong arms :P.

My precious Creature of the night has a crack in the chain... My heart truly hurted when I saw that. It is so not fair. I love that watch. I know where I can buy a new one, but that is so not the point. Tonight I will perfom a special operation on it and will use my superglue. I hope it doesn't turn out nasty and also I hope that my skin will be compatible with the glue's ingredients. I don't want to give money for a new watch, which by the way will look exactly the same as the one I have now, my need for a new phone is bigger.

Aaanyway...

#109 Saturday morning fever

I am roomieless (yes, I know this word doesn't exist, but I will use it anyway) this weekend. I would love to masturbate all weekend long, but considering certain circumstances... I can't and I so feel like it. I think I mentioned once to someone that I am never horny. Well, I lied. I am very horny right now.

The weather is great, just screaming "sunbathing". I can't do that either. Since tampons hate me (although it is mutual).

I have a few films on my computer that seem interesting enough for me to watch and also a 5 seasons of a series that is indeed very interesting, but meh. I remember back in my lovely university years all I did was watch films and play Diablo II and minesweeper. I only play minesweeper now and online poker. Which reminds me... I won a couple of Euros recently, yay!

But back on paragraph 1... I was browsing for porn this morning, since I am all alone and stuff and there is no annoying roommate that likes to poke her nose into my affairs all the time. I couldn't find anything interesting. OK, not interesting, cause porn is interesting in general, you know... sex... interesting... and let me do a quote here, which is not perfectly fitted here, but I am sure you will get the picture: "My, that looks familiar, but it's been so long..." Anyway, I lost my thought, but I know one thing for sure... when I get rich (yeah, I am allowed to dream, let me be), I will so have a TV set in my bathroom, which will be connected to my computer, on which I will have loads of interesting stuff (read porn) and I will be able to enjoy my shower and interesting stuff (read porn once again) together in the certain time of the month.
Back in the days, I had loads and loads of porn on my computer, which was shared on the network and people were truly intrigued by how a girl can have that much porn. Interesting stuff. I wonder why it is such a tabu for most of the people... women... porn and masturbation. I do both and I enjoy them, and no I do not star in porn films, I watch porn films. I've noticed for myself, that porn kind of kills the nice (read "OhMyGodThatWasAmazingILoveToTouchMyself") effect. It gets me turned on fast enough but it also makes me cum a little bit too fast. Usually I can control this and I control it, but if I lose the exact moment...meh. Anyway, this is not happening this weekend, casue you know, yeah. I just came to the conclusion that I am not masturbating enough, hm. I need a lover.

#108

10.07.2008, 17:20h

#107 еЛ връзки or The L Word

And I lived to see this happening.

Yeah, I am very surprised to see that a Bulgarian television will offer to the Bulgarian audience a series that is THAT provocative. I may say this is one of my favourite series of all time. I wonder if all the fuss that was made about the 1st Gay Pride in Bulgaria, pushed the executives of FoxLife to make such a bold step. That is indeed a series that will not be taken nicely by most of the people. It is about lesbians and it is comedy and it is drama and it is breathtaking and the cast is amazing. I found out about this 4 years ago. Back then it was a true torture for me to get my hands on the episodes and I can say I got hooked up right away. Many people will say "Oh, gay content, but I am not gay to watch this, it is probably shit" and I can only reply to them ... "You are worng!". Give it a try, see a couple of episodes and then make conclusions and I have the full CD set (off course illegally downloaded) if you can't wait to see what will happen and how the story lines will turn out.

The one thing I am afraid of is that it probably will be dubbed and then... some of the magic of the L word will be lost. I suppose, I have to wait and see...
Meet me in front of the TV on 17 July at 22:00 tuned on to FoxLife and you wont regret it!

Oh, by the way that is one of the worst possible translations of the title!!! Shame on you!!!

#106

So, I am a racist. Obviously.
I make mean statements about certain groups according to their race (which applies to the definition of racism to some extent). Obviously I do that quite often and people notice it. Usually statements similar to a certain one I made recently exist in my mind by the way of a joke and I suppose it is only funny for me and I really shouldn't be joking with serious stuff.

I only wonder when I say things like this about... hm... how to state this... I will say "my" people, why no one is labeling me and everyone go with the joke. Funny.
I also think, no, I believe that everybody, absolutely everybody, has thought racist thoughts at some point of their live.

I am no hater, I am not violent and trust me, out of all my friends and family, I would be the one that would hand change to some beggar (read gypsy here), I would be sitting next to one in the bus and won't be freaked or something (of course if they don't smell too bad or are not too dirty). I would treat them no different that any other person. I show respect and I am kind. But I am also allowed to not like a certain group of a certain race, whenever a group of this certain group of a certain race beats the shit out of a good friend of mine, breaks his nose, provokes a concussion of the brain, steals his belongings and leaves him unconscious on the road. I am sorry but my tolerance has some limits.

Call me a racist, call me dumb, call me awful, call me whatever. This is me, I am not perfect, I cross the line sometimes, it is true, but I also think that there are times when things really shouldn't be taken so seriously and also that behind everything there is a reason (at least for me). I am not a bad person.

#105 Various

08.06.08 - A tiny bit earlier than I expected, but I took the ride again. Go, go, red pony!

I plan on getting a bike. I have absolutely no idea where I am going to keep it, but I want it and I don't necessarily need it, but I want it. Hopefully on Saturday I will have it, if I don't change my mind by then...

I saw something extraordinary this morning, on my way to work. And OMG! It was Lindt, it was special Lind, it was special Summer Edition Lindt, it was Lind chocolate with coconut, it is my dream! and it costs a fucking fortune. Guess who is going to spend ridiculously huge amount of money on chocolate which can't be eaten right away. Yes, that is correct, I am talking about myself. It is fucking expensive and I want to buy it all... I am aware of the fact that this is not possible, since I am short on money at the moment. OH OH OH, I will spend the money for the bike on chocolate. It will suck that I won't be able to eat it right away... but the diet will end some day... and with all the chocolate I will get, I will turn fat again and I don't care... You have no idea... Lindt chocolate and coconut, fuck me, I am getting wet and drooling just thinking about it. And whoever thinks I will share this chocolate... they are deeply mistaken. Man, I am so excited... I can't wait to get me some of that sweet pleasure...

#104

Днес дядо трябваше да празнува 80-ия си рожден ден. Спомням си как в началото на годината говореше истински разпалено за плановете си за този ден. Щеше да направи грангиозно празнинсво. Всичко беше измислил до последния детайл. Днес трябваше да съм в Казанлък, трябваше да вдигам чаша за негово здраве, трябваше да го прегръщам и да го целувам и да му пожелавам още много години живот, щях да танцувам с него и да се смеем и да се веселим. Трябваше. А сега какво... стоя си пред тъпия компютър и си мисля за него. От много време си мисля за днес и вярвах, че няма да ми е толкова тежко, лъгала съм се. Чух се с татко, беше тъжен, много тъжен, говорихме малко, и двамата не споменхме дядо. Аз исках, но нямах сили. Много ми е тъжно.

И днес всичко върви наопаки, всичко е по настроените ми, тегаво. Днес е празника на детето, обичам го този празник, но не и днес. Не се радвам, не се чувствам дете, не и днес. Ще ми мине, знам, че ще ми мине, но и ще боли и ще продължава да боли. Тъжно ми е.
Обичам те, дядо, и много ми липсваш. Много ми липсваш.

#103 Morning joy

Haha yeah!
I am retarded and also very happy... observe...

Also the scales were very friendly to me this morning... :D

#102 Loyalty - shmoyalty!

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!
I wish it was easier... Damn it!
(I will update later)

ETA: Well... we have a saying... friendship is friendship, but cheese costs money (damn, it sounds dull in English). Resignation applied, hard decision, sad story, I will definitely miss it here, but... wish me luck!

#101 Ew... and :)

Tampons hate me, but I hate them more! Ha!
Either my technique of getting them in is totally wrong (which I highly doubt, because what is so complicated about it... a hole, a thing to stick in the hole... not much chance of getting it wrong /and no, you pervs!, I didn't do it in the ass hole!/) or well, I have no idea. I know I will avoid tampons as much as possible!
I bleed like a bitch, I feel like shit, I need to sleep 12 straight hours.
And yet, I know my life is not so bad and I so much like the little things that make my happy! I am lucky to know how to appreciate those :)

#100 Back on track...

I have terrible stiffness(my dictionary says that this is the word i need, I am not so sure about it) all over my thighs and tiny parts of my ass. But this is what happens when you sit on your ass 8 hours a day and the last time you exercised was pretty much a year ago.

So, my point is that I went running on Saturday evening. I got all sweaty and panting. It felt great. My fellow flat mates laugh at me and firmly believe that this will be my first, last and only attempt of exercise for year 2008. And, oh, they are so wrong! I am so fucking determined to get back in shape, especially now when my biceps(does this word have plural?) and calves start to show. Of course this isn't just because of the running.

Of course! I am on a special nourishing diet, which at first I thought was bullshit, but man, there are some nice visible results after only a few days! I can't assess how this is effecting my breasts though, because I will be bleeding soon and their size at the moment is deceiving.

I am feeling great about all this and I am starting to feel confident with my body. I think I have potential to be a chick :P.

P.S. Isn't it nice that my 100th post is so positive!

#99 Keeping track...

d2-54pjs

#98 Keeping track...

d1-55pjs

#97 Dream a little dream...

Wow, don't you just hate it when your alarm goes off and you so want to keep dreaming your dreams? I mean, it is not about the comfort and warmness of your bed, but the contents of your dream. I know that all gets ruined and the effect of the dream is lost, but you refuse to open your eyes and force your brain to work and desperately hope that you will keep dreaming. I really only wanted 15 more minutes, 15 fucking minutes. And no, you big pervs, it wasn't a "wet" dream. Ah well, it might have gotten there on a later stage, but it so wasn't about that! It isn't bad enough that real life is full of mind games, but your mind has to play you even in your sleep...
In a few words, I would have had a great dream but I didn't!

#96

ETA: Yesterday I really thought it looked cool, now I think it looked worse than a fat, hairy ass. So the picture is removed. I will do another one soon and will try to make it original art...

Yep, I am riding the red pony. And it is giving me the cramps...
(please excuse the poor picture, I have no artistic talents whatsoever and of course i didn't draw the pony, don't be ridiculous)

#95 Commercial fan

Значи, по принцип съм си върл почитател на Pepsi, ама има-няма от известно време по ТВ-то върви една рекламка на Coca-Cola, която просто ми топли душата...
Мно'о яка!

#94

HAHA! I bought scales!!!
I am so excited :D
Don't laugh...


ETA: I haven't posted in so long, blogger is surprising me :)

#93 Hikari

And there is this totally random song that just makes me smile...

#92 5x12

FUCK YOU, ILENE!!!
PFFT!!!

#91 Music Idol vs. Пей с мен aka* Let's Duet

Без всякакви претенции за музикален слух и каквито и да било познания в областта ще се пробвам да изкоментирам. Знам, че по темата може много да се говори, ама да видим моята мозъчна клетка какво ще сътвори...

Така, преди да започна искам само да спомена незначителния факт, че аз съм почитател на Music Idol и този пост ще бъде тотално насочен към промотиране на съответния формат и оплюване (много силна дума) на конкуренцията. Нищо, че като цяло Нова ТВ е фаворит в избора ми на ТВ канал.

Ще започна с това, че Music Idol е световно известен формат и представлява една добре смазана машина за развлечение и съответно пари. Let's Duet е плод на грандоманията и "големите" претенции на един псевдо музикант и борбата за зрителския интерес в най-гледаното време. За жалост, нещастния опит на Нова ТВ да представи този единствен по рода и размерите си формат се изразява само в пошла и на моменти прекалено форсирана автореклама. Стремежът и претенциите за величие не са най-добрия вариант, защото има една тънка граница, която като се премине, величието се превръща в жалко подобие на такова. Това дразни. Мен ме дразни. бТВ и Music Idol просто не трябва да се напъват, защото авторекламата на Нова ТВ e пълен провал.

Първи етап от двете предавания е кастинг... Ами какво да говоря тук. Отново бТВ и Music Idol "бият" по всички показатели. Естествено и при двете предавания целта беше да се покажат, как да се изразя..., некадърните участници. Очевидно грешката на Let's Duet е, че започват излъчването на материали с участници вече преминали през някакъв предварителен подбор и съответно се губи ефекта на изненадата, губи се ефекта от първичните реакции на участници и съответно съдии. Никой не обича изненадите по сценарий. В Music Idol се търси Изпълнителят, Певецът и наистина вниманието ни е насочено към участниците. В Let's Duet уж пак се търси изпълнителят, но малко или много заради формата и характеристиките на предаването се отделя време на "звездите" (да, разбира се, че слагам кавички, защото тези хора не са истински звезди, те са само по-известни), които много ясно използват това, за да се покажат като велики. Еми, мерси!

Следващ етап - концерти и изяви на финалистите... Колкото и да съм tone deaf, съм просто на 101% убедена, че гласовите качества на кандидатите в Music Idol са определено по-добри. Самите участници са по-атрактивни, техните индивидуалности не се губят в сянката на някакви си "звезди". И наистина не е важно колко ти е голяма сцената и колко ти е велик бенда (хаха, не знам това от къде го измислиха невероятните продуценти на Let's Duet, "Ку-ку " бенд, разбираш ли, бил най-добрия бенд на Балканите. Абе смешници, не се ли виждате к'ви сте плюмковци, къде се слагате, бе?!), важно е колко са велики гласовете на тази сцена! Сцената и бенда не правят певеца, то и си пролича, дори и някои от "звездите" звучаха бездарно. В Music Idol, на малката сцена, само с пиано и китара, имаше шоу, имаше емоции, имаше истински певци!
Избора на репертоар в Music Idol за момента изцяло зависи от кандидатите и бих казала, че съм доста доволна, харесва ми. Темите в Let's Duet се задават предполагам от продуцентите. Сполучлива първа тема - "Любими песни на звездите от техния репертоар", но само да спомена две думи за новата тема - "Любими македонски песни" WTF!!! Ей тука буквално бях хвърлена в тъча! Моля? Я, пак темата? Тук не подлагам на съмнение качествата на македонската музика, но бах ма'а му, толкова ли нямаме българска музика. Ние българи ли сме или ..., пффт направо нямам думи, кифли. А да видим дали ако предаването беше македонско щяха да си направят вечер на българската музика. Лекета!

Сега малко за водещите... Иван и Андрей (Music Idol) са освободени, забавни и когато се налага сериозни. С една дума - симпатяги. Светльо от "Хиподил" и Камен Воденичаров (Let's Duet) са ... големи пънове. Камен никога не го е бивало, но от Светльо очаквах повече. Пича просто не е себе си, следвайки сценария. Нито една шега не им се е получила за сега, предаването е пълно с лапсуси (не претендирам за правилен правопис на тази дума), просто разваля се ефекта.

По шестобалната: Music Idol 5 - 2 Let's Duet

Ми май това е за сега. Някой друг път ще си поговорим за участниците и зрителския вот в Music Idol, защото има каво да се каже там.

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Под чертата: aka - also known as

#90

Къде е границата между сляпо доверие и всичко останало, всичко което крещи "Ибахти мамата, видя ли ся как те врътнаха"? Много е трудно да направиш преценка. Поне на мен ми е трудно. Може би съм наивна и да, май наистина съм наивна, и вярвам в хората. Вярвам в хората, които познавам, вярвам и в хората, които не познавам толкова добре. Когато 6-тото чувство и тази пуста наивност влязат в люта битка, положението става опасно. Защото тук златната среда просто не съществува. Или е черно или бяло, сиви петна няма, сивото е провал! Сигурно има адекватна реакция в подобна ситуация, убедена съм че има, но също така ще има обидени и сърдити. Разбира се ти се опитваш да разрешиш проблемчето, ама не става! 'Щото на теб ти обясняват, ти слушаш и искаш да повярваш, ама пък все пак очи имаш, виждаш нещата, усещаш че нещо все пак не е както трябва, изразяваш притеснения и се почва едно връткане в един порочен кръг. Ти хем искаш да повярваш, хем сърце не ти дава, защото колкото и условности да има и т.н., някак си нереалистично и някак си превзето започва да ти се струва всичко, ей така на втори поглед. Врътки на 180◦ не стават току-така, просто хората са добри актьори. Еми да ви пикая на театъра. Но какво става, когато наистина харесваш представлението? Ами просто е... преструваш се на наивен, чувстваш се кофти, ама и ти играеш. Ролята е наистина добра, ти знаеш че не е за теб и най-вероятно ще се провалиш и все пак упорстваш, защото вярваш...

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Под чертата: Направих много кратък и абсолютно неуспешен опит да откажа цигарите. На сила не става, това е!

#89

Не съм писала отдавна и най-накрая ми се изясни защо... Ами то било очевадно... Явно просто просто познанията ми по английски език са достатъчно малки, за да подтиснат желанието ми да пиша тук. Както и да е. Кирилицата е красива. Обичам ги тези буквички, които се оказват трън в очите на голяма част от хората на този свят. Искам да уточня, че със сигурност ще има "постове" (слагам кавички, защото такава думичка май не съществува) на английски, ама като зацикля... ще си бичим на български като пич.

Напоследък прекарвам доста време, четейки блогове на други българчета, и в тази посока искам да уточня няколко неща...

1. Това е личен блог! Нямам никакви претенции да пиша по обществено значими теми и да претендирам, че съм "голямата работа". Може да изкажа някакво мнение, което си е лично мое и няма да е повече от два-три реда. Тук пиша за мен и изразявам моята душевност. (ОК, последното е пълна глупост, ама к'во от това)
2. Не претендирам, че пиша грамотно. Старая се, но все пак не съм завършила българска филология. Правописни и граматични грешки са допустими.
   
3. "Шльокавицата" (която между другото също не думичка и е измислена от комплексирани, според мен, блогъри) не ми пречи. Коментирайте на воля и както си искате. Имам само няколко мънички изисквания... Моля не пропагандирайте педофилия и расизъм от всякакъв характер (на мен ми е позволено, все пак това си е моето местенце online :P)
   
4. Не смятам, че имам каквито и да е дарби да пиша, следователно не очаквайте кой знае колко интересно съдържание. Дори съм готова да се обзаложа, че в повечето случаи само аз ще си знам за какво иде реч.
5. Може и да има още "правила", ама сега не се сещам.

Такааа... понеже не мисля, че съм си правила подобаващо представяне тук, пък и ме мързи да преглеждам архивите, май е време да се запознаем... (само да вметна, че хората които четат моите глупости си ме познават, ама това не ми пречи да си погъделичкам самочувствието и да си мисля, че имам милиони читатели ;))

Казвам се Пламена (Плáмена, много държа ударението да е поставено правилно!!!). Към тази дата съм на 26 години, но вярвам че детето в мен е все още живо. Не мисля, че съм глупава, но в определени моменти имам дарбата да изпростявам, но това разсмива приятелите ми, така че е ОК. Родена съм и съм израснала в Казанлък. Сега живея в София, на квартира, с още 4 маймуни. Забавно е. Пуша и пия. Обичам месото и ям чипс почти всеки ден. Прекарвам доста време пред компютъра. Обичам планината, обичам и морето. Мечтая, мечтая много, за малки неща, нищо особено. Обичам да съм сама, освен когато съм самотна. Обичам да съм с приятели, освен когато съм самотна. Не съм самотна често. Мастурбирам редовно, не съм от жените, които се притесняват да си "признаят". Дефинирам редовно... в момента нямам връзка, а тялото си иска своето така, че когато ми се прииска и обстановката го позволява... го правя. Пея, но не мога да пея. Иска ми се да имам някакъв талант, но май наистина само ми се иска. Зодия скорпион съм, и категорично смея да твърдя, че не се вписвам в общоприетите характеристики за тази зодия. Имам приятели, имам истински приятели, обичам ги всички и се надявам, че и те ме обичат. Щастлива съм. Това е! Ако има още пак ще пиша.

#88

Искам те

Искам те, забързана сред хората.
Искам те, във миг на съзерцание.
Искам те, отпусната в умората.
Искам те, събудена в зори.

Искам те, когато съм с приятели.
Искам те, в трептяща тишина.
Искам те, загледана в очите ти.
Искам те, когато си далеч.

Болка е, когато ме докосваш.
Лудост е, когато съм сама.
Силна съм, когато ме обичаш.
Търся те във всичко на света

текст: Маня Иванова

#87 Monday

Garfield rocks my world!

/source/

#86 February

I haven't blogged in a while. I wouldn't say that February was a boring month, on the contrary, it was full of emotions. Bad emotions. Well and a few nice ones... So now I will do a quick summary and I know I will probably forget to mention something but eh...

My grandfather passed away on 21 Feb. I never really got a chance to really mourn. I was at work when my mother told me and I had to keep straight face then. When I got home I had to keep a straight face for my family, I wanted to be strong for them. On the day of the funeral my mother drugged me with sedatives... it didn't stop me from crashing at some point, but it kinda kept my tears inside me. There are moments now when I think of him, he was a great man, full of live and up to party and ever understanding, I miss him so much and I shed a tear every once in a while. I haven't dealt with it and I know some night I will just cry my eyes out for him. Rest in peace grand daddy, I loved you so much.

Somewhere during this, one of my wisdom teeth decided to add up to my misery. It was painful and uncomfortable. I am getting it pulled out and I kind of was assured of my dentist that it is going to be very painful... which is nice... not!

I lost a true friendship. It hurts.

Work's ok.

A friend of mine is going to be a daddy and is getting married this May. I am so excited. I didn't expect this from him, but hey, life is full of surprises. I am so happy for him and his girlfriend.

I was told I am mysterious in a way and keep a lot of things to myself. I know I do that. I work on being more open, but I know that some things just have to stay for myself. If I can deal with them myself is another question...

The sun is shining, there is hope...

MOTHER FUCKER!!!

#84 Haha yeah...

Yo, people, I almost forgot...
Happy name day to me!!!
I feel so pathetic for congratulating myself, but... yeah... I kinda really like my name *blushes*
Happy name day to me! Woohoo!

#83 Shit

Announcement: As from today I am going back to normal titles!

I am not happy with my English knowledge! Not very long ago my eyes were opened.
Apparently...

shat (shæt)

v. Vulgar Slang

A past tense and a past participle of shit.

Imagine that! Shit-shat-shat!!!
"I just shat my pants!" Holy crap!

#82 Scales

Work. Storage room. Stock. Scales. Me on scales with the jacket on. 55 kg!
God, I love those scales and obviously they love me too :D
2 more to go...

#81 Meerkat Manor

Earlier this year I got the chance to partly follow the show "Meerkat Manor" on Animal Planet. Every morning while having my coffee I used to turn on the TV and watch the incredible life of those little creatures. It was indeed fascinating and one could easily sink into the story and of those animals. They all have their names and drama and happy moments and it was just the best reality show ever. I used to get up eager to see what will happen next. One day they just decided to change the screening time, so I couldn't see the whole series. I was sad then, but I am even sadder now. I never thought that one little animal which can easily fit in my hand and whose life I got to know a little over a few episodes on TV could make me cry. Well, it did! I watched the show at the beginning of 2007. Today I read that Animal Planet are making a new show about Lemur cattas or something and at the end of the article they said that my cute little meerkat, called Flower, had died bitten by a snake in a fight to defend her children. I don't know, it is so touching. I know I am crazy for crying over this animal, but I just can't help it. I really want to watch all the episodes now, but I am afraid I will cry like a little baby when I actually see her die... and she was sweet and nice and strong and determined and a true leader, a true lady...

#80 What's up, Doc? Fuck you, Doc!

Let me clear something out...

appointment
n. meeting arranged in advance
(definition is taken out from various sources found via google.bg)

When I make an appointment, I expect that my time will remain strictly planned, people will show up, I will show up and so on. I am a reasonable person and of course I am very well aware of the fact that shit happens and sometimes that is impossible.

Well, this morning my GP/personal doctor/or whatever she is called threw shit in my face. I can live with a slight delay of, for example, 15 - 30 minutes max. But when I had to fucking wait for 1 (one) hour, I repeat HOUR, and 15 minutes after the time for which my appointment was scheduled... I am allowed to be pissed, right? Now you will ask why the hell I waited for so long? Well I was already late for work and I didn't want to risk another morning to get ruined in the cold shitty hospital, surrounded by old(>70) grannies and granddads who just like to spread germs and yeah, make you hate them and think nasty things about them... What is the point of making appointments when you can't be on time? I was so pissed (I am not anymore). And howcome you spend 40-50 minutes on the average to examine a granny or the male version of the granny and I was in and out in like 5 minutes?
WARNING! I am going to say mean and nasty things here, cause I am getting pissed again (all old people that are reading and the others who have no idea about me, excuse me) WTF? Those people are almost dead, why taking so much care of them and not of me, who I consider a very valuable part of the society and besides I still have a few more years to live *knocks on wood*. I bet they drink tea and tell the stories of their lives in there. I mean... is she operating them on site or what? This is absolutely ridiculous. And why the hell all the old people, who do abso-fucking-lutely nothing all day long, rush to the hospitals in the early hours? Is their goal in life to make the working/studying people miserable and be late for work with hourS and miss exams and all that? Go there whenever everyone else is working, go at noon, the weather is warmer then, the buses are empty! Fuckers!

Anyway, during the five minutes I was in, she told me three different names of what I might have (I think she made them up), then prescribed me some medicine for dilating the blood vessels. If I take my little pills 3 times a day and don't see any improvement I should visit her again. Oh, I so can't wait for that experience again, I will get me a book this time... Well, let's all be optimists and say that the pills will work and my hand will have blood in it again, and my fingers will be pretty again, and I won't have to go back there again.

Next year I am changing my GP. The doctor in the room next to her examined like 10 people for that time and he seemed fun and my GP is old and pays attention only to her coevals (saw this in the dictionary, I am not that smart).

WOW, not one spelling mistake this time, but I am not reading the shit, so it might not make sense here and there...

#79 Art...

I was very busy at work yesterday. So busy that I could hardy keep me from falling asleep. My brains needed something challenging, so here's what came out:

Yes, I am posting this cause I feel kind of proud of my drawings :D. And, yes, I am disappointed from the sheep, but, hey, no one is perfect...
For those who doesn't know this is my version of my South Park Me.

#78 Oh, the bliss...

I didn't cut and fold and glue all weekend...
But... I wasted good few hours here, pissing myself laughing :)) I love sheep and some are true masterpieces.

Whoever find the sheep with the big penis or the one that is pooping her ass off, please make sure to give me their numbers. I would be very grateful!

ETA: Still 9500 sheep to go through... I found 2 pooping ones so far - 7668 and 9107 :D

#77 The scissors master

I am totally hooked! Seriously, I feel like a kiddo. Thanks to my random clicking on random links, I accidentally found myself on this site: Nice Bunny (can the name be cuter? I don't think so!). The link takes you straight to the cool part and I will suggest you to have a look at the first column. I am so excited. I have my first ninja bunny made already. Which of course didn't turn out as cool as on the picture, but hey, I am sick, I am at work and the shadow of the nasty kinda-boss bitch is weighing over my fragile self. My second ninja bunny is on its way. I only have to cut out his body and nunchaku (Good Lord, it took me forever to find the proper spelling of this word. Thank you Turtles Ninja and especially the cutest one of all - Michelangelo). AAYYAA!

Erm, on a very different note: FUCK YOU, BLOGGER! WORK, MOTHER FUCKER!

OK, now I can continue. It is addictive. I wish I had glue and colour printer at home. Well, actually I have a colour printer, but I will have to install it. I probably have glue too, but I don't know where...

Pictures will be provided on a later stage.

I wonder if I can make the entire collection of paper cuties over the weekend?! *starts printing* (Yes, I am using office equipment for personal benefits. Bite me)

Erm, and once again... FUCK YOU, BLOGGER!

#76 Ooops

I wonder should I be worried that my dad most likely spend some time on my blog?!

I usually delete all the history when I leave home, but I suppose this time... I forgot. Damn it!

The blog is now with restricted access, whoever wants to read my shit... well blogger kindly offers to contact me by e-mail and ask permission. Let's see what will happen...

Oh, by the way HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!