FUCK IT ALL!!!

How much can one take? How many fronts can one fight? Can you fight the world? Do you want to fight the world, knowing that the battle is already lost? How much does it hurt when you know you lost a friend? How much it hurts knowing that someone you care about, no matter what is avoiding you and hiding from you? How much it hurts knowing you are lying the whole world? How much it hurts knowing you are one big disappointment? OH, how it hurts knowing you are hurting someone else...

I want to run away, far away...

I am not a bad person and yet all I seem to do are bad things.

How can one be good, how can one be loved when all they do is fuck up and let down...

This is me...

I can't live without my friends and then I hurt them so much...

The vote is off.
I overrated myself.
I don't deserve your trust.
Be happy, cause I am not...
I am so fucked!!!

#47 Cameltoe?

Have you seen the movie "The weatherman"? Hm, as far as I remember there was this reference about "cameltoe"... (quick google check-> I was right).

As much as I am embarrassed to say this... I am fucked. Oh, God!

So, I have to go to this party tonight... Nova television celebrates: new studios/new building/new TV season (we delivered the equipment, so we are invited). Riiiight! It is at the ridiculous time of 17:30, which means that I am sitting at work in my nice clothes and kinda high heels. However, my lovely pants that make my ass look great are not cooperative today and me sitting on the chair all day, crossing my legs and etc. and my pants kinda dig in, if you know what i mean, is not nice. I am now worried, cause well, you notice things like this... If I don't work around this somehow, my crotch will get quite a lot of looks tonight and I don't actually want this kind of attention there.

Now, feel free to laugh and mock me as much as you want, cause it is indeed very funny in a way :), but please pray with me it gets fixed by the end of the day. I don't want to end up on TV with millions of viewers... aaaaaaa!

#46

I just kissed my roomie on the cheeks for good night... How freaking cute is that.

Apparently we've been friends for 13 years now...(let me hear you all go "awww").

Life can be really strange... you never know what will happen and when or where you are going to meet increadible people (not talking about the roomie here ;)).

Thank you for being my friends and trusting me so much. This means the world to me. I love you all...

#45 Tests are so much fun!!!

This is freaking cool...

#44 :D

Today. A man on the bus spit out the window... The wind blew some of it back inside. It landed on a lady's face. She didn't understand what it actually was... She was looking at her shoes or something, so she just wiped it with her hand and then it was as if nothing happened. Now let me hear all go "EWWW" here, oh and let's not forget "We all wish P. gets her oun car soon, so she doesn't have to be traumatized on the public transport again"

I cut my hair today... Almost was late for my appointment because there were no buses and I had to walk. Then I got back home and then... THEN!!!

It is my roommate's birthday tomorrow(it is today already, cause I didn't finish the post last night). I promised her we would go to Kaufland , Mladost(all who live in Sofia should know and all who know where I live should know that it is not so far away...). WROOOOOOOOOOM!!! We took the car, my dad's car, that is now parked in front of my place. WROOOOOOOOOOM!!! It was evening, it was dark, I drove! I had to make 3 left fucking turns on the way there, one of which... no traffic light, no nothing. It was scary man! Oh, I think I forgot to specify... I got my driving license 7 years ago (yes, that long, don't mock, I am perfectly aware that I am old!) in my home town which has only 3 working traffic lights, two of which weren't actually working at the time being (cause there was no point in them, tiny town, duh!). After I got my license I think I drove like a couple of times more, again in the tiny town. It was my first driving experience in the big city. I could say I was alone, because my roomie is an unexperienced driver herself... fun fun fun! The first and the worst left turn I did brilliant (am I modest or what). Waht followed was a traffic light, I was first line, I was going straight. Nothing scary, right? Right!? Well, you are WROOOONG! My car went off three times. I repeat, THREE times. I tried to stay as calm as possible, I turned on the emergency lights and stuff. People were horning at me and I am pretty sure my mum got mentioned quite a few times (for the nonbulgarians here, "Fuck your mother" is the most common swearing in the Bulgarian language and of course in Bulgarian it sounds so lovely). I missed the green light, as I am sure the cars behind me did as well... It turned out I kinda forgot to switch on gear. Ah, well... it happens :P. Everything else right to the store went perfect and I even parked pretty well :))). We got the stuff for the party and... we headed back home... I drove off, being very careful and all, I went through two traffic lights + a left turn (seriously I have no idea why I am so afraid of those), then I switched gear... second, third... I look at the speed thingy to check if I am not going too fast. OOOPS. P. forgot to turn on the lights... Oh, the embarrassment. OMG! I mean... it was 10 in the evening, people! Who drives with lights off in the middle of the night... suicides, I know. But... but... I want to live. At that moment I kinda shit myself. That is some dangerous thing to do and I am really gratefull that noone got injured or something. Lights on, hands shaky... we got home safe. But that is not all... It took me about 5 to 7 mins to park the car, which again ended up brilliant ;). While I was parking, a guy parked next to me. Now, just so you have an idea how brilliant I was... he waited untill I was fully parked and car engine was off, then he waited for me to get out of the car and asked "You are not leaving early in the morning, are you? I've just painted my car". You should see me and the roomie. We pissed ourselves laughing. I was so proud of myself and people doubt my abilities... hehe. God, I had so much fun last night...

By the way, spell check doesn't work, so please excuse any stupid mistakes I have made. Also, note to self... learn to post right away, when the emotion is gone, it doesn't turn out as nice...!!!