#43 Weekend recapitulation, I think

Tonguering is back on/in. It's been about 2 months. I had the slightest trouble getting it back in, nothing scary or that painful. One day of discomfort after that and that is all.

Yesterday was a fine day. Unfortunately I missed it all, because I spent all day in bed. Again I made a statement which I will probably not keep. But seriously, people, rakiya + loads of vodka = not good. Actually it was so darn good then, I had loads of fun, the music was great, the vodka was Smirnoff Green Apple (needless to say, my favourite) which I tend to drink very fast and without any juice on the side... OK, I lied, I had a glass of juice which was plenty for the 3 big vodkas I had. I don't think I drank all the juice, I don't remember. I don't remember other things from that night as well, but it is only natural. Also, it is hard to text people when being extremely drunk, even I got pretty confused by what I was trying to say... ah, well... So, the conclusion is... I should drink more often. I used to be so good at it and look at me now... a couple of rakiyas at home, some vodka and a lost day. I remember the good old days when I was able to drink half a bottle of vodka and I wasn't even drunk... oh, the bliss... but of course getting drunk from very little also has it's good side... you don't spend that much money on alcohol.

Back to work today... the good thing is that I am going away on Wednesday. I only hope I will get lucky with the weather...

There is the smallest chance I will be alone at home this weekend. It sounds so good and so unrealistic. Please just keep your fingers crossed for me...

#42 Gay orgy

So, last two days I spent reading a blog...

I don't know why I even started reading it. The name was strange and didn't really pay any attention to it. It is about a gay guy who every 6-8 weeks holds a gay orgy at his flat. I know that some of you will instantly go "EWWWW" and "You are crazy, why did you read this", but it was really interesting (well at least for me it was). He is registered to a site where gay people have profiles and stuff. Everyone who wants to participate has to state so by a message or e-mail, showing a clear face picture. The guy has some requirements about the people who could come and I was well impressed by his will not to make any kinds of exceptions, no matter what. On the blog he shares some of his experience organizing the event, announces the date of the next orgy and the fun part ... posting parts of his communication with some (in my opinion) retarded men wanting cock action :). Seriously, I read it all from first to last post. I was just fascinated by the way this guy writes, clean cut! But also... I don't know but I was surprised that people actually do private sessions like this and that so many attend. But that is only because I tend to be a little more conservative and a fan to less crowded fuck sessions, oh and also the fact that you wouldn't know anyone there, although if you don't know the people it might be easier... but yeah how would I know ;)

(maybe later I will write more about it)

...

It is not easy to make that step outside. You just stand at the door and wonder, you start doubting yourself and your decisions. You don't want to make that little step because you don't want to hurt everything that you've known all your life. It is not easy to give up the known and shut the door behind you. I don't have the guts to do it. But staying inside or just holding that door open and being at the doorstep is not the right decision either. Then you hurt all that is waiting for you outside. I am stuck in the middle, I hurt and actually I don't give a shit about me, but there, no matter what, you always end up hurting someone, someone you deeply care about. It tears me apart...

Please forgive me, I mean no harm, I am just a coward.

I don't expect understanding, neither comments on this one, this is for me to feel better (which I don't). And for all that wish to comment, for now I choose the known, please respect that...

*Picture taken from here

#40

I had a nice good night experience last night... which means my rambling about no privacy continues, so you may stop reading right here and right now cause it won't be interesting as the rest of this place...

I was freaking tired cause work was kind of busy and then I am still recovering from the cold, so I decided to go to bed a little bit earlier. In a few minutes when I was already starting to fall asleep, one roomie comes and starts making her bed and making little noises and yes... Then the other one comes and states that she thinks of reading a book (hint hint... -> lights on). So the first one goes to bed and all of a sudden decides that she can't fall asleep unless the TV is on (I have a tuner on the computer). I usually have no problem with the lights, although I prefer them to be off :) as any normal person or one that doesn't fear darkness), but come on! I am dying for some rest and the last thing I want is the freaking stupid TV on. So I explained that I didn't want this and the result...-> 15 minutes of senseless, bullshit, annoying talking. And of course I preferred the TV rather than listening to my friend... So yeah, I got enough sleep NOT!!! I suppose this is all my fault though, I have to be tougher, but she just broke up with her boyfriend and shit and I am so kind, you know... just a wussy.

My arms are uncooperative today... late this afternoon they went all bloodless and numb, now the same thing is happening again. I am just a little bit worried, cause I can't really see my veins, but which is strange I can easily move my fingers and stuff, usually I can't. WEIRD!

It is travel month this month... Next week I am going for a 3 day business trip. To the lovely sunny beach and this hotel. Envy me! Oh, and now envy me more... look at the business I will be doing and to be clear this is a SONY Eastern European dealers meeting... now observe...

I think I was very stressed out today and I am pretty sure I hurt one person or another in one way or another. Being stressed doesn't excuse me, but whoever feel hurt by me or anything I've said... please know that I am really sorry.

Have a good night all!

Oh, I almost forgot... and I really hope to put a smile on your face... please visit: http://www.biertijd.com/mediaplayer/?itemid=3954

#39 Ranting...

ETA: This is a total mess and totally non interesting, I haven't read it and I recommend you to do the same. Proceed at your own risk...

Today I sat in front of the computer with the intention to share my experience from my little trip to the Netherlands... Well this ain't happening. It is not that there are no stories to tell, on the contrary. But my mind just refuses to cooperate and all I can come up is some lame shit, which I don't want to put on blogger. I should seriously start taking notes, because after my first impressions my brain usually creates a blog-suitable story. And of course my brilliance tells me that I am so brilliant and I will memorize it all, but alas... I am secretly hoping instead of a notebook and a pen to get a laptop...

On a different note... It is getting crowded at home. Imagine 3 people in a room and all the stuff of the 3d person is around the room. Me is very not happy about this situation, me can't do a thing about it because she is my friend. So the pre-story... Imagine 5 year relationship, she moves in with her boyfriend in his flat. She cheats, he finds out, gives her another chance, things seem OK, until one lunch break he dumps her. She has nowhere to go, me and my friends open our arms for her. She is a nice girl really, but damn I so miss my privacy now. This situation should last till the end of the month when one flatmate moves out. So my friend and my other flatmate, who by the way also got dumped by her boyfriend, who is a flatmate as well and they still sleep in the same bed, will go to the soon-to-be-free room in the flat. So, I am now counting the days till the end of the month, although on the other hand, I will miss the flatmate who is moving out. And I am starting to get confused.

My parents car is in front my place... I don't drive it. I am a dickhead, who is also scared to drive alone in Sofia. And using the car while it is here would made my life so much easier. I have absolutely no problems driving in my hometown, after all we only have 3 traffic lights there...

I am sick. I have high temperature, sore throat and also, my biggest problem, my nose is blocked and running all the time. I had troubles falling asleep last night, because in order to be able to breathe I had to lie on my back and I just can't fall asleep while on my back. I thought of masturbating then, cause this always calms me down, but how... with two other people in the room. I was going to go and see the doctor this morning... today she goes to the hospital in the afternoon... hihihi, as always I am fucked.

I have some more things to complain... but I won't do it, cause I am pretty sure that whoever read everything till this point severely hates me ... MUAHAHAHA

In reply to tr's comment ;)

After some editing and change of pics... this goes up...

#I forgot to check... and it is 37. Netherlands...

Yo people, in a few hours I am heading back to BG. I kinda don't want to do that. 

It is great here, except all the clouds and the occasional rain(and by occasional I mean 20 mins of rain and 5 mins of heavy clouds) Yesterday I saw the sun!!! Amazing. Amsterdam is great. I went for a few little moments to the red light district and apparently I look very virgin cause I got offered to watch some educational film. I accepted... not! Was to a coffee shop. They didn't have spacecake, I got disappointed but after a few tokes of a nice joint everything was fiiiiine :) And yeah..., I broke my promise not to smoke weed anymore, but heh, I am in Amsterdam... I think I can be forgiven, after all I mentioned God's name a few times last night... mmmm Uhmm anyway... Prague was awesome, let's hope on our way back we will spend another evening there. I wasn't a beer drinker... I like beer now. 

OK I have to go to the Central Station now... I am very sad... I will miss...

Next time blogging from BG.

P.S. Mac... eh...